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renegade_cam's journal
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wow...it's been awhile...i know, i'm bad about stuff like this...ah well? forgive me...? ;) So yeah...let's catch up, shall we??? ---------------------------------------- The month of July almost went by as fast as the month of June did. But with a few more complications... Work has (of course) been work...this past week was ridiculous! 100+ degrees at the beginning of the week...unbearable to work in. Besides that, there has been mucho drama with the employees v. the owner. He's a dillhole. Plain and simple. And we work our butts off for him...he's plannin on firing my brother before winter which pisses me off after all he's given to the company...but whatever. And the best part is that the owner expects me to be back next year beause in his words "GM isn't hiring"...CLASSIC! oh man...what an assclown...ok enough of work... Gosh this is so hard to backtrack through a month and a half to try and figure out what i've done... Seen some movies...some good and some bad...done a lot of random stuff... OH! I went to cedar point with shari a few mondays ago and had an absolute BLAST...makin fun of ppl, screaming like a "banshee" on all the rides, etc...just an all around good time...which was much welcomed cuz I needed to get away. Aha, and...I got to go to Miami for a weekend for my cousin's wedding. Wasn't the most fun trip...but it was freaking Florida! I got to go swimming and eat great food and meet hot chicks (well not really...)...i'm glad that this summer has kind of had these brief getaways from crappy ass work...they are much needed. ---------------------------------------- I honestly can't wait to get back to school...or EL in general. It's sooo boring here and i'm done with work...it's so tedious. I'm ready to take on my buuusy semester ASAP. I've got so much crap to do...but i'm looking forward to it. I miss all my peeps too...soon enough tho! Lots of complicating things going on lately in the love life...pray that I figure it out... Ah well... Hope everyone out there is doing great :) take care :: +Memory :: Share :: 2 replies :: Reply
I got the shit stung out of me today by some hornets. I went under this stupid tree and they attacked the top of my head. It hurt SOO bad...man, right to the brain... ---------------------------------------- Oooo, we're gonna do my top 10 songs as of june 29th... 1. The Adventure by Angels and Airwaves 2. Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace 3. Stranger by Thousand Foot Krutch 4. The Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin 5. Cold by Evans Blue 6. Move Along by The All American Rejects 7. DOA by The Foo Fighters 8. Lips of an Angel by Hinder 9. How To Save a Life by The Fray 10. Don't Wait by Dashboard Confessional ---------------------------------------- So my three wishes for the night if a genie would come to grant me them...ya ready??? 1: For my head to stop hurting. 2: To go to the freaking Lugnuts game cuz I feel kind of left out. 3: To be tall, dark, and handsome... Some of you might think I already have the 3rd, and I would agree, but yeah... Lol, anyway...hope ya'll are doin well. Take care.
Crazy weekend...very fun and very much so needed. I had a great time with Dan, Syd, Matt, and of course Jules. Mackinaw was completely awesome and honestly, I think we did EVERYTHING there is to do in 24 hours, way crazy...and of course you know it's a good weekend when you're exhausted afterwards. So besides drinking a lot this weekend, I decided to shave my head...yeah, so i've got a buzz cut going now which is very interesting. I thought I had a completely mishapen head but it turns out I look decent with it. BUT my mom doesn't exactly think so...which I guess is ok, she'll get over it. Life is good. I'm just livin it as best as I can ya know? That's about all anyone can hope for right? I've got needs and wants, but I know that they will come...I hate to use the cliche phrase, but ya'll know what it is so I don't need to say it... I think I wanted to shave my head just to spark some change ya know...not to steal allie's fire at all, but change is always good...maybe it'll free my mind a bit; let me see things more clearly. I'm trying to decide what I should do next. I mean, I hung out with people last week and i'm going to try and do more of that this week. It's a lot easier since work has calmed down... anyway, i'm rambling now...peace out, have a great week
How lame am I? (please don't answer that...) I mean, what more can I do? I'm kind of helpless being home for the summer and working all the freaking time and it just sucks... This isn't even touching on my situation of talking with someone i'm not sure if I should even talk to or not... Any suggestions? I'll play the waiting game but that can only go so far...patience you know...I mean, look at the freaking last entry...I had it together, and now it's just all been thrown out...I'm such a freaking manic... ---------------------------------------- On a good note though, I'm going to Mackinaw this weekend...I totally need the vacation. It'll help clear my mind ya know? And focus on other things... Anyway, I just wanted to rant a little bit...hope your weekend goes well. Be safe. PS: I love rain, but I hate it at the same time...
My neighbor (whose 80 somethin) called me today to tell me that there have been 2-3 break ins among the 6 houses next to ours...CRAZY! I mean, my parents go away for the week and this happens this week?! I mean, i'm not being a sissy about this, but I leave the house for an average of 11-12 hours a day...I mean something can totally go down in that amount of time. Whatever, i'm inclined to beat bitches up if they come in... I'm so pumped... ---------------------------------------- In other news, my patience has returned. HUZZAH! what a great word, huzzah...muwahahaha... I dunno, I realized I was being a whiny bitch...and you know what, that's not me. Honestly, any of you out there who read this that know me know that I don't whine...I loathe whining. And look at these previous entries?! Thats all they consist of...ugh, what great friends I have...anyone itching to write a reply to this saying that I do whine all the time...screw you, I cut you off at the pass. If I wait, I know that if it is meant to be that it will come...but it just seems so good ya know? And it's something that I need right now...oh well... I'm inspired by the fact that i've taken the free time that I do have (since I only worked 40 someodd hours last week) to sit down and do some writing. Besides this i've been doing some other stuff and it's coming out well...inspiration is key, let me tell you...my past half a year has been PLENTY of inspiration. Ah well Oh and hey...my whining may be emo, and my picture may be emo, but I am DEFINITELY not emo...I mean, I like my dashboard here and there...but that's a stretch ;) hope ya'll have a great day
They are monotonous to say the least But ya know, for all the bitching I do, life is good. I can't complain because honestly, nothing bad is happening to me. I just feel like i'm wasting my time ;) oh well I NEED to get next friday off so I can go to mackinaw...I really need this vacation...it's a must right now. AND I need to find something to do next week with all of my free time here at the house...being home alone. Maybe i'll have a party or something...any suggestions??? This entry was pointless (OH! Little Ms. Anonymous...I have a few guesses as to who you are...so thanks for the encouragement...I appreciate it...)
Let me tell you...hard manual labor outside for 55+ hours a week...it wears on you. In fact, it wears on you like that annoying friend that you can't just seem to tell you to leave you alone. Ya'll know what I mean...it sucks man... I'm tired and i'm even more tired of being tired. I have absolutely no life right now. I get up at 6:15am every morning and proceed to work until sometimes 8:00 or 9:00 at night...and then what do I have time to do? I get to come home, eat, shower, and then go back to bed only to do it all over again the next day...ah well...it's money right? And what else would I REALLY be doing. But it's depressing...I know that there's so much more to my life than just this. There's so much more that I could be doing and so much more that I want to do. I suppose it all just stems from a certain state of lonliness. I miss my friends and I miss having the freedom to do whatever the hell I want...I mean, it's not like I don't have my freedom, but I still feel inhibited... This is the longest time i've gone without someone in my life worth waking up every morning for. It's wearing on me...hardcore. I suppose that's why i'm such a mess as of late...i'm searching to no avail. I'm tired of being patient... ---------------------------------------- Enough of that bullshyt. My parents go out of town next week... 6 days of drunken sex parties...I love it! Just kidding, that won't happen...well the drunk part might, but yeah... Dude, how lame am I...I have nothing else in my life to write about...work and my general discontent...lame... SUPER LAME alright, that's it...back to being bored lates
Ultimately, the creation of this so-called journal makes me a huge hyprocrite. I have always detested these things and the point of drawing attention to oneself, but for some reason I turned to it tonight... I need the out...I need the ability to write what I feel and at least pretend like someone is listening or that someone cares. I know that if I voice it, i'll be able to understand it... well, whatever 'it' really is... This being the first entry, it will be short and sweet and boring...for that I appologize The difficulty of the monotony of life combined with my utter lonliness (which although may sound depressing, really isn't all that bad...) has forced me to find something, such as this to do with my life...ah well... peace |
